Life is like a heart monitor, without ups and downs we are not living

I suppose New Year's Eve is a time to reflect on the year just gone, and boy oh boy what a year it has been. 

In 2017 I had some of the best news I will ever receive and also the worst. To say this year has been an emotional roller-coaster is the world's biggest understatement. I want to take the time to consider my reflections and share them with you. I'm not always one to share this kind of stuff, but even if any of this helps just one person, I will have accomplished something great.

I have an amazing husband and brilliant friends around me. I have learnt who will be in my life moving forward and who might not, and that it's okay to have to let some people go or move on, it's just human nature. We have such a short amount of precious time of this planet, and you need to put all your energy and effort into people who will make that same effort back, otherwise frankly, it is just not worth it.

I am stronger than I care to believe and I need to allow this to be appreciated. I need to start putting myself first on many more occasions and I need to stop feeling guilty when I do this. Being pregnant has really driven this home,  as I need to put myself first for the sake of my little boy who is currently still cosy and warm in my (now massive) baby bump. If I don't look after myself, crucially right now, I will not be looking after my baby, and that of course that is just not going to happen. He ultimately comes first.

I need to let my emotions, whatever they may be, be felt and no emotion is stupid, silly or unjust. Depression is not a taboo and it is okay to feel like I do. I am not going to get into the depression topic now, but all my closest will know I have been a long time sufferer, and those who also suffer will know it pops it head up from time to time. This year has been no exception. I think when you are faced with loosing your only remaining living parent at the grand old age of 28, whilst being pregnant with your first child, who wouldn't also feel the same or at least have similar emotions. Life can be a right bitch and it's okay to need help from people around you or professionals!

I need to credit and store the memories of all the little bursts of happiness with all the people that matter. Life is not going to be continuously happy every minute of everyday, but when happiness or contentment does hit me I need to cherish it. I need to take more photos to document these moments, and take a millisecond to take in the surroundings, emotions and people in this moment in order to create the perfect memory. This will be increasingly important moving into next year with my baby boy making his debut. 

2018 is going to be the most eventful yet. I will be loosing my Mom but welcoming my Son, I don't think it gets more eventful than that. But I will endeavour to ride the rough with the smooth and cherish every moment. I will love deeply and live passionately. Here's to life! Make the most of it because this is not a test run!

Life is like a heart monitor, without ups and downs we are not living.


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